Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
