I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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