how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
