He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
