She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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