Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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