let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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