capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
