Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
