..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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