You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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