I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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