We're like a lot better than the average bears
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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