Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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