Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have so many feelings about this burrito
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
