I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
