I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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