you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My penis needs a shock collar
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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