I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
