so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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