Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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