Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
