Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
