hell yes lets make some ravioli
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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