She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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