There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
