I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
