She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
