dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
