All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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