Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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