Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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