Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
