where am i from again
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
