Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
