Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
