I seem to have left my pride at pride
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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