When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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