Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nicole vs. Life
they need to just BURY HIM!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
