You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
