then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
