Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
