he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
