I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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