ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
