my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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