He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The air taste purple.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
