did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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