Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
