dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Randomize
