i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
