ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
