the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
