i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm too high and old for this...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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