If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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