Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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