Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
foreskin is a definite game changer
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
