There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
