I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
foreskin is a definite game changer
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
