Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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