He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
