Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize