Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
