New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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