I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just gift wrapped bread.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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